Drowning
by Garowyn
Summary: Oneshot. In the midst of a rainstorm, two brothers come to an understanding as one, Goten, deals with loneliness and blinding rage leading him to fight his older brother. And the other, Gohan, offers comfort and compassion. Rewritten-minor changes.


**A/N: I do not own DB/Z/GT. Story has been rewritten with minor changes due to the fact I've gained more knowledge about the characters. '...thoughts...'**

**_

* * *

_**

Seventeen-year-old Son Goten sat by a familiar waterfall, not too far away from his home in the mountains. It was the place, as told by Gohan, that his father Goku had taken his older brother to many years ago to fish and swim, and to maybe even talk. It was a spectacular scene to behold but the teen's mind was elsewhere and not on the scenery.

The recent World Martial Arts Tournament had ended months ago and Goku had left once again, to train some kid Uub who was apparently the reincarnation of kid Buu.

Goten allowed a heavy sigh to escape him. It was night and the stars were twinkling in the sea of navy and black. A quarter moon was visible despite the clouds that blocked his view of the moon once in awhile. All was quiet save for the waterfall itself and the chirping of insects. A perfect night for the not so perfect Goten.

Without another thought, Goten picked up a rock and stood up on his feet, preparing to throw it into the lake. It landed with a considerably large splash as Goten had used nearly all of his Saiyan strength, some of it fueled by anger, to throw it.

Nothing was going good in his life. Nothing. He was good for nothing.

'Darn it, Dad, why did you have to leave?' Goten thought angrily. But his dad's absence wasn't the only thing bothering him. Tears filled his eyes and threatened to fall but he held them back, willing himself to be strong.

Emotions are for the weak.

"Humph." Goten smirked in remembrance. That had been one of Vegeta's sayings or at least close to it. He had been insulted and shouted at by Vegeta many times, the Prince going on about Saiyan pride, Saiyan this, Saiyan that. So now, he wasn't good enough to be a Saiyan. He was only half anyway.

Well, Vegeta had been a bit of a father figure of him but his arrogant attitude outweighed that.

And then there was Trunks, his best friend since birth, the boy whom he had tagged along with when playing practical jokes. The two were at equal strength and had even fused together to form a strong warrior with the name of Gotenks.

Goten loved Trunks like a brother but at times, mostly when they were kids, he had been rather mean to him. Words like "Dummy!" and "Idiot!" were often used. Trunks was truly the son of the Saiyan Prince. It wasn't his fault; it ran in his blood. It wasn't Goten's fault either. True, he had been a little clueless at times but that didn't mean he was completely dumb. He had feelings and he couldn't help it sometimes. Trunks was older and took it upon himself to act as boss then. Of course nowadays Trunks was not like that anymore, but occasionally joked around with him and whatnot.

Still, it hurt. It hurt to be just a sidekick, the friend of the famous Trunks Vegeta Briefs, a nobody. It hurt to be called a dolt or a dimwit.

At least he was known as a strong fighter. 'Who am I kidding?' Goten thought glumly. 'I really am a nobody.' He sank to the ground and leaned against a tree, a lone tear trickling down his face. Sometimes life could really get you down...and he felt like he'd been punched in the gut—hard. The sudden realization of who he was, was a slap in the face.

His mother, ChiChi, loved him very much. He knew that. He was her son alas, the youngest. No chance to prove himself without being compared to an even greater son. ChiChi didn't play favorites but sometimes she would yell at Goten, demanding of him to be like Gohan, serious regarding schoolwork. She had no idea of how much it stung, how much it pained him that even his own mother compared him instead of accepting him for who he was.

Nobody was perfect.

'I give up, mom. I've tried and tried but you know I'll never be like Gohan. I know you know it...so why? Why do you keep it up?' Goten bit his lip feeling another bitter tear trickle slowly down the other cheekbone.

Gohan...Son Gohan...eldest son of martial artists Goku and ChiChi. He would be the strongest man in the world if he hadn't stopped training. Gohan was probably the smartest in the entire world too. He was the root of some of Goten's personal problems. "Why do you have to be so blasted perfect, Gohan?" The young Son muttered out loud, caring not if his older brother could hear him. Goten loved Gohan so much. He was his hero, a role model, and the one who had acted as a father figure during the first seven years of his life. Gohan had been there for him but he couldn't be there all the time. There was Videl, Pan, his studies, and other things. Goten loved him yet despised him at the same time. It was complicated.

Then came the rest of the Z-fighters and the family friends.

_"Boy, Goten, you're looking a lot like your dad everyday!" _

"Gohan accomplished that technique when he was five."

"GOTEN! Go study right now! I don't want to see another mark like this. Gohan never got these kinds of marks and neither should you!"

"Did you think that up all by yourself?"

"What do you want, Kakkarot-brat?"

Remarks, comments, insults, commands, and whatnot flooded his mind like an ocean. He didn't feel the cool grass beneath his hand anymore, or the gentle breeze caressing his face, nor did he see the dark sky before him. All he could think about was how down he was, how unlucky he was, and how bad a hand he had been dealt, in his opinion.

Self-pity.

'Get yourself together, Goten.' He punched the ground, leaving an imprint. But he couldn't do it. He could not keep his mood level. It wasn't just self-pity; there was truth in it.

The thing that hurt him most was his father, Goku. "You're selfish, Dad. Selfish! I HATE you!" He cried out, his strained voice echoing, bouncing of the rock walls of the waterfall and off the bark of the trees. The tears flowed freely now, bitter and full of anguish. "I don't know you, Dad. I don't know who you are." He whispered at long last. The dam had broken and its contents had been spilled.

Goku chose to stay in the Other World because he thought earth would be much safer if he wasn't there. But wasn't his family important to him as well? Even if he didn't know about Goten, surely he loved ChiChi and Gohan enough to risk earth just to be with them? No, a thousand innocent lives was more important than two but still...

As it turned out, earth was safe for awhile. 'Dad could've stayed.' Goten thought. 'He missed everything about me. Everything.' Goten loved his father but like Gohan, he hated him at the same time. Goku had missed out on Goten growing up, a boy who had longed for a father ever since he found out he did not have one, alive that is.

It was so unlike him to be in this kind of state but his life and everything about it was catching up with him and attacking him like a predator to its prey. "Face it Goten, you're a loser." He picked at some grass and held the blades tightly in his fist. He let it go after awhile, watching as the blades flew away with the wind to wherever it would take them. "Heh, at least I'm the youngest to ever become a Super Saiyan but even that doesn't change the fact of who I am." Goten murmured softly to himself, still somewhat proud of that accomplishment. It had become second nature to him.

Comfort. He sought comfort in someone who could understand what he was going through. But who? Who was out there to help him? Who would see him through this painful feeling?

Goku had Chi-Chi. Vegeta had Bulma. Gohan had Videl. Trunks had his sister Bra; the two were close. Krillin had 18. His niece wouldn't understand nor would his friend Marron. He was alone. Even if they tried to understand...it just wouldn't work. Bra could help but she was a little too young and she was treated even better than her brother was. But Trunks was busy enough as it was.

Perhaps his late grandfather, Bardock. 'What a wild idea.' Goten frowned. 'But he was and is a Saiyan. From what I've gathered, I don't think he would understand.' Even so, it brought him a little bit of comfort.

Looking skyward, Goten noticed that the stars were covered by something: clouds. Distant rumbling was heard and a drop of rain signaled the coming of a storm. "Great, just great." He muttered as more drops fell from the sky. 'Mom must be really worried. It is kind of late...but I don't want to go back. Not yet.' He wasn't in the mood to face one of her many lectures. Never really was, nowadays, come to think of it.

The rain fell and Goten lost himself, allowing his sorrow and self-pity to surface. Sobs shook his whole body as he held head in his hands. Drenched and torn, Goten released an agonized cry. "I can't stand it anymore, Dad! Mom! Brother!" Goten blinked as rain fell into his eyes and he realized he was standing, having jumped to Super Saiyan mode. Goten dropped to his knees and sank into the ground, the yellow aura disappearing instantly.

So far the rain showed no sign of letting up. Just a peaceful cleansing rain.

"Goten?" A familiar voice broke through his misery and caught him by surprise since he had not sensed his ki. It was Gohan's voice. Goten turned and saw his older brother, standing there in a white button down shirt and black trousers, staring at him with a sad expression.

"Huh? Gohan?" Goten raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?" He demanded sharply, quickly wiping his eyes.

"Mom called and said that she hadn't seen you since before supper. You never even came back for supper, which I find hard to believe." Gohan responded, surprised by the harshness of his younger brother's voice and the coldness surrounding him, not from the weather itself.

"Oh..." Goten looked down at the ground, not bothered at all by the rain. Strangely enough, he didn't feel hungry. "Is that all?" He asked, a sudden acidity in his tone. Gohan flinched at the tone. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." Came the grim reply.

Goten grimaced. "So you heard everything, huh?" He asked. Gohan nodded but didn't say anything. Silence. "Well, you can go back now...tell Mom I'll be back soon." He added.

"That wasn't the only reason I came." Gohan suddenly said. "I came because I felt your ki flaring. It was actually Videl that answered the phone and she told Mom that I was on my way. I stopped at Mom's first though." He explained, stepping closer.

Goten recalled the anger he had felt earlier inside of him and when he transformed in what had once been legendary to all Saiyans.

"Do you hate me?" Gohan asked seriously.

"No..." Goten looked away, wishing his brother would leave and let him be.

"Do you hate Dad?" Gohan's gaze remained penetrating.

"No." Goten responded with more zeal.

"Mom?"

"No!" Goten snapped and looked back to his brother. "I don't see the point of all these questions."

"Then tell me what's wrong, Goten. Tell me. I'm your brother. I care, you know." Gohan frowned, crossing his arms. The rain continued to fall and lightning was soon visible. What had once been a peaceful, lovely evening, had darkened, becoming gloomy and depressing.

"Do you?" Goten shook his head and turned away once more. "You wouldn't understand if I told you." He finished lamely.

"Try me." Gohan sighed. "You know I want to understand."

"Okay. You want to know?" Goten faced him again, irritated. "I'll tell you. I'm sick of being in your shadow. I'm sick of being compared to you. I'm sick of not knowing my father, of not having spent enough time with him." His voice rose. "I'm sick of being insulted, sick of being known as a Goku-lookalike! I'm sick of my life! I'm sick and tired of it all!" He shouted, not aware of the fact that had become Super Saiyan again.

Gohan stared at him in shock, partly because of his jump to a more powerful level. "Goten...I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"I don't want your pity!" Goten stepped closer. This was definitely a side of Goten that Gohan had never seen. "Of course you didn't 'realize'! You're too busy...being you!" He cried at a loss for words. 'No! What's wrong with me? I'm sorry Gohan...'

Gohan gritted his teeth knowing one or more of the gang might sense their energy. "Goten, listen! You have to calm down!" An uneasy feeling came into the pit of his stomach. What if his brother tried to attack him? Or worse. No, Goten was not that terrible but at this point in time, Gohan didn't know what to think or do.

Goten sobbed uncontrollably. "I-no!" He took a swing at Gohan who stopped it from making contact. Blinded by fury, Goten charged at him with a battle cry and Gohan quickly went Super Saiyan defending himself against the angered young man.

"GOTEN!" Gohan desperately tried to get the teen under control but Goten seemed to be fueled by strong feelings. Punches flew and ki blasts were traded back and forth, mostly from Goten. Wanting to end it quick, Gohan charged up to level two and grabbed a hold of Goten's fists and tried to stop the teen from attacking any longer. "Please! STOP!"

From a far away spot, the Prince of all Saiyans floated in the air, watching the two. He had assumed there was some kind of danger when he had felt the two brothers but now that he had heard parts of the argument, he knew it was a personal matter and that they would be all right.

Sensing the other Z-fighters, he turned around and glared at them as they arrived. "Dad!" Trunks called, coming to a stop. "What's happening?" He asked, noticing the two brothers in a battle.

"Nothing." Vegeta faced the rest. "Go back to where you came from. Nothing is wrong." The Prince repeated gruffly. The warriors were quickly getting on his nerves...as usual. They were on his nerves even when they were not actually there with him.

"But what if they-" Yamcha was cut off.

"I said, nothing is wrong, idiots!" Vegeta snapped as he began to fly away. The fighters took one last look at the brothers, then flew away, believing Vegeta.

'I sure hope you're right, Dad.' Trunks thought as he followed behind.

Finally, Gohan gained the upper hand and stared at Goten straight in the eyes. "Goten, listen to me now!" He said through clenched teeth. "You don't know what's like to be in my shoes so listen good." He hesitated, wondering if he should let him go. "Wait-do you promise not to run away or attack me, if I let go?" Gohan questioned.

Goten nodded bleakly and the elder Son let go of him but still maintained a defensive stance in case Goten decided to attack again. The two stood apart, facing each other.

Gohan lowered himself to the ground as did the younger Son and both dropped out of Super Saiyan. Gohan took a deep breath and began to speak. "Do you know how much of a burden is on my shoulders? How much pressure there is to be strong and intelligent?" Gohan waited for an answer but there was none so he went on. "You know, everyone expects me to save the world whenever trouble is around. Granted, no one probably does anymore since recent events..." Gohan's voice trailed off, remembering Majin Buu, and all the other villains they had encountered. "Everyone expects so much of me and I strive to meet their expectations because I don't want to let anyone down. Especially not my own family." He sighed. "Look, Goten...I understand it must feel pretty lonely and miserable for you but you can't pity yourself for long. There are others in the world just like you."

"You shouldn't try to be what everyone wants you to be." Goten mumbled absentmindedly, still digesting Gohan's previous words. The teen stared at the ground, not really seeing what was there. The rain drenched their clothing and still continued to fall from the dark sky.

"Yes, I know. But it's not that simple, Goten." Gohan grimaced. "After the Cell games...I faced one of the most horrible feelings in my life. It was my fault Dad died because I got caught up in my own overconfidence. I know I let people down although they have said otherwise. It was hard growing up without him and even with him because I would have to train and I barely had a day's rest because Radditz, Frieza, Bojack..." Gohan listed the enemies he had to face in his younger days.

"At least you didn't have to grow up with that, with knowing these things. Aside from Mom, you were the only one who was a constant reminder that life is precious, that there is good out there...You must understand that." Gohan pleaded with his brother. "I envied your optimistic view of life and other things. You always seemed happy-go-lucky and-"

"Yeah? Well I'm not!" Goten snapped, narrowing his eyes, tired of hearing that same phrase from everyone. Did they all think that all he could see was the good side of everything? You can't protect someone forever from the evil of this world.

"I know that now, Goten." Gohan sighed once more. "I too was angry at Dad for leaving. I know Mom was very depressed but I guess that comes with being the wife and children of Son Goku. But like Dad, I looked to you for inspiration, for laughter, although some of your pranks went too far..." Gohan smiled, hoping to get Goten to crack one too.

Goten half smiled, remembering the pranks he and Trunks had pulled on the elder Son. They had learned quickly not mess with him but still, pranks...they were so much fun!

"Goten, you're my brother and I love you. You, Son Goten, are one of a kind, meant not only to save the world, but meant to be a symbol of encouragement." Gohan stated silently, believing every word.

Goten looked at his brother hopefully. "You mean that?" He asked softly.

"I most certainly do." Gohan replied without hesitation. "Goten, you don't know what the others think of you and I for one believe they would say the same things about you."

Goten was silent. Gohan glanced at the sky. The rain had stopped and the moon was in view as well as the stars. He checked his watch, seeing it was almost 11:30pm. "Well?" Gohan asked waiting for a response.

"Thanks, bro." The usual smile of Goten was seen through the darkness. "Thanks a lot."

"Anytime." Gohan firmly grasped his brother in a tight hug and Goten returned it. "There's a lot of hate in this world, Goten. There isn't any need for it to be between brothers." The younger Son silently agreed with him.

They began to fly home. "Um, Gohan?" Goten called out as they flew through the cool air.

"Yeah?" Gohan glanced at his brother. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry about what happened back there. The fight..." A sheepish expression on his face. He was ashamed...and embarrassed that he had thought he could actually defeat Gohan. It was still possible of course...

"You mean the fight we never had?"

"Huh?" Goten looked at his brother and saw a grin on his face and a twinkle in his eyes that reminded him of his father. "Oh yeah, the fight we never had..." He grinned back.

"We'd better hurry. Mom and Videl should be extremely worried by now." Gohan remarked and the two increased their speed.

The Son brothers flew the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.


End file.
